MASTER MILO: THE SANDPAPER CONDOM OF FACT-CHECKED TRUTH

The Unholy Sandpaper Condom of Truth Incarnate

Note: This Article was featured at theralphretort.com

Jenn is in her mid 20’s and complains she constantly has headaches, experiences constant weakness and overall, feels very sick when she is around certain electronics. She constantly claims to be allergic to wi-fi and cell phone signals therefore she self-identifies as “Electrosensitive”

 

Obviously, it sounds like Jenn is a citizen of the pink cradle of filth AKA Tumblr or she is just trolling right? No, she is serious and agrees to have her “electrosensitivity” tested through professional double-blind tests and guess what? She failed miserably whenever she was asked to tell apart a real turned on cell phone from a plastic dummy. Wouldn’t make sense her “Electrosensitivity” would allow her to identify which one was just a piece of plastic and which one was her cell-phone “Kryptonite”?

 

Upon being proven wrong, Jenn gets all upset and bitchy then says it is “not fair” that she is being “oppressed” by the cell phone industry, the researchers, people with electronics around her and the list goes on. Guess what? Jenn has little credibility because number one; even a dummy piece of plastic scares her and number two; she self-identifies as “electrosensitive” just the way Tumblr nutjobs self-identify as “otherkin” AKA they believe they are animals born in human bodies.

Jenn’s sister of the Tumblr variety

 

But there is a surprise, when you test these “electrosensitive” people, they consistently fail all double-blind studies not once, not twice but hundreds of times over several studies that consistently prove them wrong THEN they usually get very, very upset, they react very emotionally and keep telling tall tales, only to be proven wrong, over and over again, after a while, their emotional actions stop being frustrating and instead put a big, wide grin on the faces of the researchers, the kind of smile that announces a realization that can be translated into this,

 

“Gotcha…sooooo you were faking all along!”

 

What do you think would happen if we performed a double-blind study to verify if Tumblr “otherkin” people could communicate with animals of their “self-identified species”? Most likely they would all fail miserably and get very upset or even rage-quit almost as if caught red-handed with their “self-identified” lies.

 

See, the keyword here is “self-identified” because both “electrosensitive” and “otherkin” nutjobs “self-identify” because no serious medical professional worth their salt and with a valid licence to risk would diagnose them. Granted, perhaps for ~10% of them the word “self-identified” means “God talks to me” and they are certifiably insane but for the other ~90%? Most likely those are lying.

 

“Self-identified” translated into plain English just means “bullshitter” 90% of the time because they will consistently fail double-blind tests just the way “self-identified” “electrosensitive” liars fail at double-blind tests.

Jenn at home

 

Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a double-blind test to also spot the liars at universities that “self-identify” as “oppressed”?

 

Guess what? We already have it, his name is Milo Yiannopoulos.

 

Every time a University cancels his booked debates because the students “self-identify” as “feeling unsafe” by his presence, we can enjoy the same big wide grin on our faces and say;  

 

“Gotcha…sooooo you were faking all along!”

Academic hypocrisy in motion

 

The reason why Milo represents such a perfect double-blind test is because every time the student organizations “self-identify” as “unsafe” by his presence we see the same blatant “self-identification” lies we saw with “Electrosensitive” and “Otherkin” nutjobs. To top it off, all of the “Otherkin” the “Electrosensitive” and the “Unsafe-feeling” also “self-identify” as “oppressed” when questioned. With such extraordinary claims and without any extraordinary evidence you would expect Milo to be an unholy mix of Benito Mussolini and a giant fabulous pink Mothra but in reality? Those self-identified students feel “threatened” by a mere glorious and very sassy fact-checked gay man. What is next? Claiming to be unsafe by posters of my little pony friendship is magic? Play doh? Are legos “triggering” due to painful memories of stepping on them? Are party blowouts “triggering” too?

 

Once again,

“Gotcha…sooooo you were faking all along!”

 

Oppressive Reality According to the University of Manchester

 

No, despite those fervent SJW’s attempts, Milo is no giant patriarchal fluffy pink monster, he is just the unapologetic kind of bastard that wins even when losing. Just think about it, Milo is the perfect double-blind test, he is the dummy plastic phone that makes the self-identified “electrosensitive” or “unsafe-feeling” hypocrites in Universities fail miserably at double-blind basic reasoning, especially when they also double-cancelled both Milo and Julie Bindel. In a way, Milo succeeds even when “losing” by exposing their lies because by shutting down his debates and saying he makes them feel “unsafe” only brings this realization to our faces,

 

“Gotcha…sooooo you were faking all along!”

 

But just for the sake of argument, let’s imagine a plausible scenario where students were justified to authentically and objectively BE UNSAFE by a guest speaker, not to subjectively and post-modernistically “feel unsafe” but to be truly unsafe. Hard to think of one right? It would have to be someone like this,

 

 

But, no, unfortunately Mr Manson is unavailable and can’t give talks on the pitfalls of the privatized American jail system at the moment and most Universities are not interested in actually paying his legal fees or waiting for his prestigious availability.  

No, metaphorically speaking, feminism is an STD afflicting reasoning and Milo Yiannopoulos is a sandpaper condom of fact-checked truth worn by the libertarians as well as the right. And since scientific truth requires no consent to thrust, the left gets raped on stage with every debate with Milo.

To add insult upon injury, the internet acts as rough beach sand mixed with granulated salt used as lube on every merciless deflowering-debate performed by Milo as it is massively broadcast. Is that metaphor justified reason to feel “unsafe” too? Too late, I didn’t even include a trigger warning.

 

The Unholy Sandpaper Condom of Truth Incarnate2

The Incarnation of the Anti-feminist Anti-Christ

 

So, no, these self-identified “unsafe-feeling” hypocrites are just that, hypocrites that are just faking it for effect and a censorship agenda, problem is, with Milo, they keep turning their own hypocrisy all the way to 11 and just give themselves away. At this pace, Milo will almost certainly keep winning whether or not he is allowed to debate and the biggest inconvenient truth? Milo Yiannopoulos is as threatening as a powerful dummy smartphone that exposes their “self-identified” lies or rather, he is a loud pink Kazoo of inconvenient truth nonconsensually shoved up their feminism.

 

No wonder why they don’t like his tune…

 

 

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