DISCLAIMER 1: What follows is a mixture of facts, speculation & satire therefore the adverb “allegedly” prefaces and applies to the whole article.
DISCLAIMER 2: I am a proud Neo-Troll & I DO NOT represent #GamerGate. Truth with zero protocol will be used; get offended. Feel free to disregard everything I say based on my Troll status. For those who stayed, behold;
(EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was featured on theralphretort.com)
Death brings us mourning or joy. Kotaku’s death will be a reason for joy.
When the cluster of parasites called Gawker starts to decompose, Kotaku’s corpse will bloat with financial desperation, it will fill with lawyer maggots ready to repurpose the hypocritical entrails of its remaining assets, then, it will burst into a final and obscenely grotesque auction. After a mere week, it will be a lurid pleasure to witness the public disgrace of how the bones of the empty Gawker offices are put on display for rent. Finally, after the second week of Gawker’s sweet death rattle, the stench of Nick Denton’s mendacity may finally start to dissipate, at least, from the gaming industry’s atmosphere.
See, the death of the Gawker parasite is to be welcomed, to be relished, because it will bring all of its Kotaku-journo-pathogens sorrow, anxiety and depression, how couldn’t it? They will be forced to live without a host, to be painfully flushed out from the liquid warmth of their imaginary jobs into the cold, dry and hostile atmosphere of the real world, they will be forced to look for jobs with their current qualifications; barely sufficient for a barista job. It would also make sense for those Kotaku-journo-pathogens to have bad credit, expensive rents or mortgages to pay as well as plenty of debt, or even, risk to be replaced as roommates, because, the side effect of having a parasitical job detached from reality is living an imaginary lifestyle without the true qualifications to afford it.
Think about it, these journo-pathogens face a grim future in the job market with their nearly useless arts and humanities degrees, their lack of STEM training and overall toxic personalities, no wonder why they have to feign integrity, their lives are a refutation honesty.
ANATOMY OF A KOTAKU PATHOGEN
These journo-pathogens require dishonesty to live because deep down they know their lives are a failure: they chose useless degrees to stay away from “hard” things like math, they accrued debt from student loans they are still paying because working and studying was too “hard“, they are overweight because they find exercise “hard” and overall, they willfully lack the discipline to achieve, it only makes sense they would find also integrity “hard“, how couldn’t they? The life of a journo-pathogen is predicated upon their lack of effort and complacency.
How are you going to have the discipline to sit down
and learn to code when you don’t even have discipline to stop eating?
Furthermore, if you always wanted to create games but you were too lazy or too stupid to learn to code, and all you had was a gender studies degree, wouldn’t it make sense you would envy those who can code? What if you also envied men due to your intense inferiority complex camouflaged with a thick veneer of denial nicknamed feminism? No wonder why female Kotaku pathogen-journos like to defame an industry they could never qualify for. They are intellectually anorgasmic.
Also, what if you were always outsmarted by members of your own Jewish community? What if they had the discipline and talent to earn degrees in STEM and to be far more ambitious and successful. But you on the other hand? You always lagged behind and struggled in school, but at the same time, you realize it would be hard to play the victim and say the other Jews “oppressed” you with their intelligence and determination to succeed, right? It would be hard and depressing to see how life is passing you by, not because it is “unfair to Jews” but because yours particularly, is a failure. A Jew failure to be more precise. Considering all of these personal flaws, it would also make sense to have an intense closeted frustration and anger for being a failure to the Jewish community.
Logically, with that kind of intense mediocrity, you also would jump at any opportunity to lie, to deceive, to play the victim because you would be, deep down, painfully aware of your utter lack of talent in the real world, and the best thing you could qualify for is becoming an imitation of your own dishonest failed life;
A mere mendacious parasitical gaming journo.
Again, no effort there, even the highest dreams of grandeur of a pathogen-journo are the lowest of ambitions for the average person because a pathogen-journo’s nature dictates their utter disdain for integrity; they naturally despise and defame those who have it. These pathogen-journos seek shelter in a mediocre occupation that only mirrors the mediocrity, mendacity and failure of their own lives. Make no mistake, their dishonest job is an exercise of their own dishonest personalities, again, no effort there.
It just makes sense for them to continue the path of complacency they started in school and choose an occupation for parasites because again, it would have been too “hard” to aspire to be more than a parasitic attaché tattling on someone else’s achievements.
No wonder why Jewish Kotaku pathogen-journos needed to blacklist and blackmail members of an industry they could never qualify for; it is their frustration with the failure of their own lives and their intense envy of those more successful what defines & drives them as parasites of those hosts. As painfully as it is to these pathogen-journos, those hosts are the ones that have the determination to learn, create and achieve.
A RUSH OF HISTAMINE
The reality is that the hosts parasites attach themselves to are the real productive organisms of the gaming ecosystem; the ones that have real jobs and persistently work to create that which would otherwise be complex puzzles from abstract artistic dreams. It would make sense for those productive hosts, those developers, to eventually evolve an allergic response to those Kotaku-journo-pathogens who leak their work, defame their companies and betray not only their trust but their customer’s trust and often, pit audiences against them. Those Kotaku- journo-pathogens, just like the main Kotaku parasite they belong to, do not do produce anything themselves. Logically, the host’s allergic reaction to these Kotaku pathogens would spread throughout the gaming industry to purge them as soon as possible. We are starting to see how, several major gaming studios have mounted a histamine-like blacklisting reaction against Kotaku that is unlikely to stop. Let’s not forget that unlike the Kotaku parasite, the developer hosts have the drive and discipline to achieve a reaction that has as a goal: the termination of the Kotaku parasite with fire, which partially coincides with #gamerGate itself.
Because of this, it must be truly terrifying for Kotaku journo-parasites to entertain the thought of their own firing, the thought of them becoming unemployable, how head-hunters will avoid them to prevent alienating their audience, to prevent tarnishing their brand and to avoid the risk of losing the trust of developers. How after each failed job interview they will start losing hope, how bills and expenses will start to add up, how their high cortisol will only push them closer to aggression, depression and drug use, how, at some point, they will experience that sinking feeling of that which they always dreaded:
Feeling intense regret for having lost their host, for having run their parasitical mouth so falsely while expecting zero accountability, to have angered those who
How hurtful it must be to know they will lose their comfortable, ornamental and parasitical journo “jobs” just because of those “unworthy idiots” that paid their salaries along with their parasitical lifestyles and, most importantly, they will experience intense regret because of the acute awareness of their bleeding ego, telling them all of their struggle could have been prevented. Regret for a Kotaku-journo-pathogen must be harsh grainy salt rubbed into the eyes of their complacent narcissism.
THEIR LONG SWEET AGONY
But let’s just wind back the clocks a few weeks before Kotaku’s demise, to contemplate its pain, to witness its struggle, to relish on its desperation and its extended agony as it hemorrhages its dwindling assets. First of all, What will happen to upper parasitical management?
Well, it would make sense they would also have closeted utter disdain for the pathogen-journos they command, so upper parasitical management would make 100% sure they put plenty of money aside,while claiming it all is being spent on legal fees all while asking lawyers to back them up with their lies, why wouldn’t a lawyer maggot not play along with the parasite they currently obey? It is in the nature of both to lie.
Secondly, what will happen to the pathogen journos? What will be of them? Most likely, they will be kept out of the loop in an ironic state of doubt and a dual pretending game; the Gawker parasite cluster will first stream down the lie to the Kotaku parasite, then the Kotaku parasite will blatantly tell the journo-pathogens there is “nothing to worry about” and the pathogen-journos will pretend they believe them while frantically looking for another job before the parasite agony starts.
This pretending game will be deceptive damage control; upper parasitical management would lie to the pathogen-journos to string them along and prevent them from quitting and to save money because giving them a severance is expensive, while the complacent pathogen-journos would find shelter in half-believing their lies because, looking for a job is too “hard” so the pathogen journos will once again embrace their nature: a life of minimal effort.
Oh, but the frenzy behind the scenes will be an obscene scene to behold; the copious string of lies will continue to stream while the company’s books are obsessively “touched up” to prepare for bankruptcy, to lie as much as possible, to put as much money as possible aside while preparing for impact while they surreptitiously sell anything they can while skimping as much money as possible on the still undisclosed but already written pathogen-journos’ termination.
Upper parasitical management would as well pretend they are giving the pathogen staff good news, that there is a chance they will “win” the lawsuits while also preparing for impact and looking for a secluded location in Europe of Asia with favorable exchange rates.
Let’s talk about parasitical upper management because saying Kotaku is not a parasite of the gaming industry is akin to saying manure is not excremental, by the same token, saying upper parasitical management is honest internally would be akin to saying defecation is odorless. Also, to avoid any other accidental compliments, we should point out the fact the host-less/job-less Kotaku journos would be equal to little parasitical eggs found in excrement after the Kotaku infection was flushed out. But all excremental Kotaku eggs had to come from a mother tapeworm:
Nick Denton’s parasitical cluster named Gawker will eventually die but the problem is that the source of the infection would still be free lay more eggs, that unless Denton is placed in a biohazard bag in jail. But the problem with obscene lifeforms like Nick Denton is that unlike intelligent life, Denton does not produce anything himself and requires no oxygen to live. Denton’s grotesquely deceitful nature is the one that attracts lesser like-minded hypocrites that end up working for him.
Make no mistake, Denton’s existence is a vulgar display of grotesque mendacity & money-driven dishonesty that knows no bounds unless he is sued. As long as he is left in the wild, he will be free to re-spawn another Gawker-like parasitical cluster. Hence the possible secluded location in Asia or Europe. The Denton mother tapeworm will go into a self-imposed exile to dodge bills and any liabilities related to his former parasitical employees.
Then, all of sudden, one glorious morning one by one, the journo-pathogens will be called into the office and be fired, or possibly, they will be let go by email and told not to show up for work. They always lied to the public, it would only make sense they would lie to each other before death, no honor among parasites.
Then the rotten cherry on top; the pathogen-journos will wail, will bitch and moan online about how “unfairly” they were treated, they will first play the victim and as they cortisol levels mount, they will inevitably turn against their former employer, they will open anonymous accounts and start spilling little parasitical secrets here and there to avoid the repercussions of their perfunctory and ornamental NDA’s. Then when desperate enough, they will start selling secrets at any cost to pay their mounting bills.
They will eat each other.
KOTAKU’S ENTICING DEATH RATTLE
The greatest satisfaction of seeing Kotaku’s being torn apart will be the desperation and self predation exercised by its pathogen-journos, how they will resort to their own corporate cannibalism in a heartbeat, Kotaku’s croak will be the longest and loudest for its former pathogen-journos. Yes, the Gawker parasite cluster will die and along with it Kotaku but the only way for prion-like parasites like Kotaku to be deactivated is to decapitate them then incinerate their remains at +900F for hours and hours. And when that happens, we shall contemplate their inexorable combustion.
I normally do not write on journos but even a filthy Neo-Troll of the lowest kind like me finds parasitical aberrations like Kotaku grotesquely lurid. Granted, this task was not enjoyable, but if there is something lower than excrement and us trolls, it would be Kotaku’s pathogen-journos and yes, If Sauron’s eye was fecal, that would be Nick Denton incarnate.