DISCLAIMER 1: What follows is a mixture of facts, speculation & satire therefore the adverb “allegedly” prefaces and applies to the whole article.
DISCLAIMER 2: I am a proud Neo-Troll & I DO NOT represent #GamerGate. Truth with zero protocol will be used; get offended. Feel free to disregard everything I say based on my Troll status. For those who stayed, behold;
(EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was featured at theralphretort.com)
DOAX3 Boycott: The Sin of Game Boobs
THE ILLUSION OF BOOBS
Why do women have breasts?
Well if you look at other primates, their boobs are mostly deflated unless they have a baby to feed. However, young female human beings have prominent boobs that barely deflate before age 40. Perplexing, isn’t it?
Circled in red: Female gorilla with deflated breasts.
The simplest explanation is that, unlike the other primates, our species can get pregnant all year long. So, in a nutshell, permanent boobs are a permanent signal of fertility or, in plain English, boobs are sexual organs women use to attract those they want to fuck. Then a woman gets pregnant and those boobs switch from fuck-mode to baby-mode. This begs the question…
Why do men look at boobs?
Because it is the other side of the same coin. Women have permanent sexual signals on their chests to attract & choose the men they want to fuck and men permanently look at those signals to stand a chance to fuck those women. The reason why boobs are so relaxing (so much more than weed itself) is because they are the perfect placebo. That pleasure of staring at beautiful, firm, semi-conical female breasts is, in and of itself, an incentive for fertility. Human breasts make you feel relaxed because their purpose is for you to, sooner or later, be attracted enough to the woman to speak to her then convince her to fuck. Why? Because in purely biological terms, the purpose of boobs is for women to attract then choose a man who can ejaculate inside them to get pregnant.
Why are boobs great for business?
Because straight men, lesbians and bisexual women can look at them for hours and hours and don’t get tired of seeing them bounce or be mildly deformed and warped by exotic handling or elaborate devices. Time itself seems to warp and dilate around female breasts. Make no mistake, my cis-pig brothers & gender traitor lesbi-sisters, boobs are an amazing evolutionary confirmation of nature’s simplicity that boils down to the following sentence…
“If you want fat to look sexy, just add a nipple”
Of course, mother nature did not tell me that. It’s just biology and how excessively well people react to two very simple looking adipose appendages with a crude, multi-dispenser in the middle whose ultimate purpose is, to nurture a child.
But that function of feeding a child may also be one of the reasons why breasts are so relaxing to look at, because human infants evolved to look at them while being nurtured and taken care of. It’s possible that this leftover of evolutionary infant relaxation is the reason why adults find human breasts so relaxing, but at the end of the day, boobs are just that; mere glorified feeding devices.
Yes, despite the worldwide fertility worship rituals around computer screens surrounded by shrines of protein-soaked tissues, boobs are just glorified lactation devices people sexually worship (even at work).
If a person is willing to regularly put their job on the line for the sake of staring at those glorified lactation devices, then we know boobs have magnificent power for advertising. In fact, boobs are cynically and routinely used for ads on branded bras, body painting, Red Bull nipple tassels…the list just saturates the mind.
With that amount of power, it is not a surprise online porn (and even forms of animated porn) are so successful. But what truly was a surprise was a game that combined all of these factors. The gaming company TECMO took advantage of the opportunity of extrapolating the animation of bouncing boobs, which is pervasively used in Japanese Hentai anime, into their video game series called Dead or Alive (clever boys) and its latest release DOA Xtreme 3 (or DOAX3 for short).
But with all great boob power comes great intellectual irresponsibility from leftist SJWs. Despite the fact DOAX3 itself does not qualify as porn or even hentai, (it just qualifies as a harmless sexually suggestive game which the ESRB already contemplates in its ratings) SJWs will predictably object to it like Creationists objecting evolution because of its alleged “unfair” portrayal of imaginary women. Thus, TECMO became their default planned Piñata.
Despite the fact TECMO is legally entitled to make money with their work, TECMO has opted to forego the battle with the SJW mobs and avoid releasing the DOAX3 in America and Europe (thus losing not only money but angering the fans of the game) simply because TECMO prefers to forego the profit instead of dealing with plenty of SJW Zealots ready to make empty complaints where imaginary characters are being “objectified & abused”.
That absurd ideological implication of imaginary characters being “abused” makes zero sense in factual reality, but if that were the case, Walt Disney owes a public apology and a multi-million dollar settlement to Peter Pan’s Tinkerbell because she was nonconsensually “objectified”, abused, de-dusted and even worse, sexually assaulted;
Behold the horror
Oh wait, Tinkerbell can’t receive that settlement, because just like videogame characters, she does not fucking exist.
THE LEFTIST NUN MENTALITY
It just does not make sense to listen to a vocal, godawful-boil-in-theass-ugly minority of radical feminists to preclude a company like TECMO from lawfully making money with their game DOAX3.
Banning someone else’s legal work just because of someone else’s puritanical prudish ideologies camouflaged as “progressive” leftist activism? Anita and her acolytes are Neo Nuns.
But this is not something new, the left has been trying to play these tricks elsewhere, for example, most likely you have heard average feminists open their big mouths to say the classic,
“Her body, her choice”
To assert a woman can do whatever she wants to do with her body and be a proud “whore” if she wants to be, unless it is a porn star, because those are the wrong kinds of “whores” and they should obey feminists because when it comes to porn starts the phrase changes to,
“Your body, our choice”
Logically, this fails spectacularly in practice (look at the pervasiveness of online porn) that even feminists realize their implied demand is intensely retarded and since they won’t pay female porn stars a cent, they have to shut the fuck up and to this day, Porn remains, for most intents and purposes, legal.
This has not prevented commercial feminists like Anita Sarkeesian to open their wide basking mouths to try to extrapolate the same,
“Your body, our choice”
But instead Anita tries to apply it to videogame characters, but in her retarded Bell-Hookian mind, the game character’s choice is not “its own”, it instead belongs to feminists.
PROPERTY OF FEMINISM
See? Anita is trying to claim the ownership sex-negative feminists have consistently failed to obtain with porn stars. But in her case, she is trying to do it with imaginary characters. Why? Because,
Videogame characters did not choose to be ‘objectified’
Anita’s proposal breaks down even worse with the “sin” video game characters like the ones in the DOAX3 boycott represent against her religion. Why? Because the illogical claim that imaginary characters did not “choose” to be objectified can be taken to its ultimate consequences with many other elements of feminists’ lives.
Why? Because feminists do something way worse, not to fictional characters but to living beings. Feminists need to return their cats to the forest because those cats did not “choose” to be pets. Same applies to their dogs dressed up as human babies: They did not “choose” to be ridiculed by women with broken maternal instincts.
Also, all of their fucking plants did not “choose” to be captive, same applies to their lame vegan “progressive” tofurkey sandwiches because tofu did not choose to be turned into human excrement.
See? Following their delusional logic only resulted into the imaginary “oppression of tofurkey” because saying a fictional imaginary character has “agency” to decide about her imaginary sexuality is so wrong that is not even wrong, it is just retarded & delusional.
But why do feminists do this?
Why do feminists try to claim ownership over the fictional creation of game developers? In a nutshell, because often, feminists are sexually dysfunctional and want toxic attention ONLY for themselves.
Very often feminists have a history of past sexual abuse which goes untreated and leaves them psychologically broken, this usually leads to eating disorders (compulsive eating, anorexia bulimia) and a cluster of many other personality disorders that go untreated for years (borderline personality disorder, narcissism, delusions of persecution among many others)
But none of their poor mental health matters because the feminist religion has a perfect imaginary scapegoat for their own real mental disorders:
(AKA the testosterone-addled Satan)
This belief in the fictional patriarchal satan (similar with the one above with phallic red-dildo-like horns allegedly) leads them to avoid psychiatric treatment for years until their cluster of disorders along with their PTSD becomes fossilized.
However broken, they still have a need for broken sexual attention from men or women and since feminists tend to be godawful-boil-in-the-ass-ugly, they naturally don’t get any normal attention, and instead they seek attention of the toxic variety. How? Simple they hate anybody more attractive than them
Women who are not broken? “Whores!”
Women who are prettier? “Whores!”
What about all those slimmer and sexie..? “WHOOOOORES!!!”
Then, when it comes to videogame characters that are far sexier and relevant than what the feminist will ever be in her whole broken fertile life, well, it just makes sense they lose their radical menses over them and want them banned. Of course, to be fair, we could also analyze this by #Occam’s Razor,
THE WARPED HORSESHOE
But this goes beyond leftist Zealots, this covers the extreme right because for some fucked up reason, the ends of the horseshoe where republicans are on one side and the democrats on the other are so close that they could touch each other. They both want sex to be regulated and are puritanical as fuck.
Weren’t they supposed to be diametrically opposed? But neither realizes or wants to admit they are that close.
With cases like DOAX3, where the left behaves like anorgasmic nuns desperately trying to ban dildos because they make their floors goopy and the extreme right doing nearly the same and trying to ban all Porn: They just mimic each other’s prudishness.
If the horseshoe theory had a more accurate shape reflecting the shared prudishness of both wings, the horseshoe would look more like a warped horseshoe. Or more like a heart-shaped horseshoe where both ends are just one in front of the other nor distant but they overlap.
This overlap would represent both the religious and leftists Zealots trying to ban all “problematic” games like DOAEX3.
The leftists are the new puritans of the 21st century not different from the people who tried to ban all “problematic” comic books in the 1950’s because they allegedly had “satanic” themes or “incited” crime, which only mirrors the claims by anti video game pundits like Jack Thompson or commercial feminist Anita Sarkeesian.
Make no mistake, the left is the new religious right worshipping the new politically correct god: women.
THE MEDUSA EFFECT
Is this trend of worshipping women new? Has it happened in the past? Did people become delusional enough to give women rights but no responsibilities?
Hardly. Toxic female sexuality has always had a level of harm attached to it, not by the woman but by those she manipulates to her advantage. So we could say boobs are dangerous.
Yes, viking boobs may have been sharp enough to take an eye out, but to be honest despite the fact modern boobs are not as sharp, they are still dangerous for other reasons, if you are polite you may say,
“I wonder how a pair of fleshy appendages can be a risk to anyone?”
If you are less polite you may say,
“LIES! Those are just fat bags!”
The reason for boobs to be dangerous is the legal implications of even looking at them without “permission” which is always a grey line because, if the owner of said boobs is wearing clothes specifically designed to display them, it would make sense for them to be seen. But the owner can always complain you are not looking at their boobs but that you are “oggling” at them, but in other circumstances, she does not complain at all. See, the confusing double speak and the plausible deniability feminists like to play is best explained with a simpler principle;
“It is only oggling when unattractive men do it.”
If the feminist is attracted to a particular man, she will make sure she displays and exposes her breasts to the man in question and she will not complain. Why? Because there is no need to be as hypocritical: she wants to fuck that guy she likes.
So, if a young man can be charged with sexual harassment if the feminist in question finds him unattractive enough, her boobs are by virtue of her uncertain behavior toxic boobs.
So what choice do young straight men have to satisfy the healthy need to look at visibly fertile women with fertile looking bodies and non toxic boobs?
Are there any safe boobs to look at left on earth?
Of course, videogame DOAX3 boobs and Porn boobs. (clearly not only boobs but you get the idea) But the problem lingers, when men in the west approach feminists and women on the left it is just a minefield.
Why? Because everything a man does can be misconstrued for leftists purposes, look
- If you pay attention: You are paying too much attention (creep)
- If you ignore them: You are a misogynist (privileged & cis gendered therefore almost satan)
- If you speak to them: You are a “creep” (TRANSLATION: “Creep” in the feminist language is code word for “rapist”)
See the pattern? It is the feminist goal post.
For most men this is confusing because women who use this strategy constantly make men scratch their heads and say
she doesn’t make sense!
The explanation for this moving goal post behavior is simpler than the expected:
She is doing it on purpose to get attention, not to make sense.
They are narcissists that do not need to make use of what they complain about, they just want to complain to get the attention. Just like the SJWs that fervently complain about games they do not even buy or play.
SAFER BOOBS FOR EVERYONE
TECMO sets a precedent for companies emulating the behavior of young Japanese “herbivore men” who avoid courting women and dating altogether. But instead, TECMO has opted out of courting Western puritanical SJWs.
TECMO’s discouragement to make money from their own work stems from a simple decision:
The neo-nuns of the left are not worth the trouble.
Again, this replicates Japanese male gamers, who forego actual sex and instead go for Porn boobs or game boobs. But it goes beyond Japanese gamers because, just like TECMO did, more and more western male gamers may also start saying,
“that juice is not worth the squeeze”
But even if male gamers are gradually withdrawing from society, that will not be enough for commercial feminists like Anita Sarkeesian. It is not enough that male gamers are becoming more and more reclusive just like their Japanese counterparts. It is not enough more male gamers stay in their proverbial basements owned by the parents, just playing games with bouncing boobs or watching Porn. No that reclusive male behavior is also “problematic”
NO. THEY HAVE TO BE PROSECUTED BECAUSE MALE SEXUALITY ITSELF IS “PROBLEMATIC” & SINFUL
To feminists like Sarkeesian, it will never be enough. Those losers and their “sinful” hobbies with bouncing boobs have to be prevented, have to be extinguished because that is on the agenda of the left.
The left has a long list of “problematic” freedoms to ban. Why? Because in the leftist war against free speech, the first target is comedians then you and me.
By the same token, in the leftist war against sex, the first target is games like Dead or Alive Xtreme 3, then Porn then your sexuality then mine.
Do not let the left or the right take your legal freedoms away.
Thank you for reading.
Explanation of the picture above: Female breasts are considered frontal quasi-buttocks and the female mouth a frontal quasi-vulva. Hence the deep throat penetration common in Porn, which is, an emulation of vaginal penetration. Even labia (latin for lips) are replicated by the fleshy human female lips often enhanced by red lipstick, which only signals a quasi-engorged labia ready for copulation. Possibly, this duplication of buttocks and labia is a result of sexual mimicry in anthropoids, almost as if human nature wanted to double down on human fertility. Yes, this time I am not trolling you.